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B"H
This article is written in acknowledgment of my sincere gratitude to Hashem. Our dear friend Noson Robeson was seriously injured when a car hit him leaving shul last Wednesday. He was on his bicycle and thank God wearing a helmet. Although he still needs our prayers, he is doing remarkably well and wants to return to shul ASAP. We wish him a Refuah sh’laimah and a speedy recovery.
What God Wants
I often ponder the following questions: What does God want from us? Are we living up to His expectations? Are we living up to our own expectations? How is it possible that some people who claim to be religious fail to actualize that aspect of their life in interpersonal relations?
I certainly can’t speak for Hashem but I do believe that He, first and foremost, wants us to be good human beings. Recently, in a meeting with a benevolent gentleman, he mentioned that he rarely goes to synagogue because he can’t read a word of Hebrew. I responded by telling him that I am well aware of his magnanimous generosity and the amazing things he does for the Jewish People. I told him that I am envious of his guaranteed portion in the next world. I have little doubt that his devotion and dedication to Judaism and the State of Israel will propel him to a level that I can only dream of ever achieving. I left the meeting feeling unsettled and wondering whether I, too, would be deserving of a heavenly abode. I began to question whether my observances were genuine or were they propelled by the laws of perpetual motion, oblivious of deeper significance. Is attending services daily, and donning tallit and T’filin really what God wants from me? At the end of the day, all my observances didn’t seem adequate in making me the person I want to be. I study the Torah and it’s commandments, I observe the Shabbat, keep kosher, and don’t worship any other Gods. But somehow, life with all its complexities leaves me questioning and wondering what I am missing.
I believe laws and dogma are essential tools to better oneself, but how does that betterment manifest itself? It certainly can’t mean doing more of the same things over and over again, as that is a circuitous route to nowhere. The laws are intended to be a means to an end and not an end in and of itself. But what exactly is that end? The answer may be gleaned from a conversation Rabbi Akiva had with a potential convert. The person wanted to learn all of Judaism while standing on one leg. He was told: Love your fellow man, that is the essence of Judaism; everything else is merely commentary. Although that idea seems universally acceptable, in reality, it has proven to be the Achilles Heel of many of us. It seems that observing the tenets of Judaism (and for that matter any other religion) is often much easier than treating your fellow human being with dignity and respect. Look around the globe and ask yourself what went wrong. How come the world is in a continuous state of conflict. Why can’t we all just love each other?
Rabbi Twersky, a noted Chasidic rabbi, author and psychiatrist, made an interesting observation. He said, people may say they love ice cream, when in fact they don’t really mean they love ice cream. They really mean that they love themselves. They care only about their cravings and desires. Little else matters in their pursuit of self-gratification, regardless of what they say.
Perhaps the same idea applies to understanding the golden rule: Love your fellow man. What if the intention is not to love your friend but to fulfill your own desires or needs? By doing so you are not loving them, you are loving yourself. What if those you claim to love are merely pawns in your personal game of self gratification. Yet the Torah demands we love our fellow man and that we use all other observances to change traits of selfishness to traits of benevolence.
A synagogue is a microcosm of the wider world. What happens globally happens on a smaller scale locally. The difference is that the wider world is not mandated to follow Judaism. To them, the golden rule is only a suggestion and not a requirement. We, however, have a God given mandate to observe and uphold God’s Torah. We have no choice in the matter. We have unilaterally decided to abide by a set of morals and principles that defy our own wants and desires. We don’t love our fellow man because we want to; we love our fellow man because we have to.
If the ultimate pursuit is to love our fellow man, then the penultimate pursuit is to end all hatred and distrust. It is impossible to be a good Jew while hating another Jew. (Of course there are exceptions for Anti-Semitic, self-hating Jews). The Talmud states: Hashem considers idol worship as an act of revulsion and those who practice idolatry have no place in the world to come. They could be decent and honorable people but will be meritless in the eyes of Hashem. Yet, Hashem also states that it would be far better for mankind to practice idolatry (and lose entry into paradise) than to tolerate hatred amongst their peers. As abhorrent as idolatry is, it is less abhorrent than the animosity between people.
I can’t imagine the shock and despair I would feel if I were denied entry at the pearly gates. What if I were told that despite my vast amount of mitzvot and good deeds, I basically wasted my life? What if everything I did was for nought? What if the angel of death places a dusting of enmity on the scale which outweighs all my years of meticulous devotion, benevolence, mitzvot, and good deeds? With tears in my eyes I try to justify my hatred and acrimony, but no one in heaven cares and no justification merits any consideration.
So what exactly does Hashem want from us? He wants us to have a portion in heaven. He wants us to have eternal bliss and enjoy the rewards that we dedicated our life to pursue. However, one nefarious and worthless pursuit blocks our access. We are so desirous of senseless animus that we are willing to give up everything we strived to accomplish during our 120 years on earth. In reality we do have a choice. We can either ‘love the pursuit of hate’ or we can ‘love our fellow man.’ We can’t have both. One brings us down to the bowels of hell, and the other allows us to reach a spiritual apex. For those that claim to believe in Hashem, it should be a ‘no brainer.’
I love ice cream, which really means I love myself. But I no longer eat ice cream because I love myself even more. If you, too, love yourself, (and you certainly should) then refrain from acts that only give you an imaginary pleasure. The opiate of hate can produce endorphins that stimulate happiness but its result is fleeting and illusory. It is similar to a drug of choice in that it gives a temporary euphoria but saddles us with a deeper dependency on hate. Loving yourself may necessitate that you release all toxins of hate. And a prerequisite to being a good Jew is to love yourself.
It seems so easy, but it’s not. But it just may be worth the effort.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Jack Engel
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