delray beach orthodox rabbi

                                             
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Yussi’s Bar Mitzvah
 
I’m currently in Israel celebrating the bar mitzvah of my nephew Yussi. He is not your typical 13 year old young man in that he was unable to recite his Torah portion or say the bracha before his Aliyah. He is labeled as having a developmental disability. Yet, make no mistake, it was a true celebration. His head was held high as he marched under a chuppah to the Western Wall. He was of course excited, but also overwhelmed. His parents were extremely emotional and had tears of joy as they expressed the delight Yussi had brought into their life. 
 
There is a strong similarity with Yussi’s bar mitzvah and the festival of Sukkot, the holiday when we leave our homes and sit in flimsy booths. In Florida the weather is still hot and the homes are air conditioned and much more comfortable than the heat and humidity of the sukkah. Is sitting in the oppressive heat and humidity truly a joyous way to celebrate the festival?
 
In all honesty, the sukkah experience highlights two uniquely different qualities of a blessing. The first is one we usually take for granted; the amazing blessings we receive on a daily basis. Unfortunately, most people have to leave their blessings to realize them. Only by leaving the comforts of our homes are we truly able to appreciate how fortunate we are. But the more important, second aspect of the blessing, is in realizing the good fortune we have by choosing to sit outside home. Sitting in a sukkah enables us to experience the most amazing sight of glittering stars shining through the scach (the roof made out of bamboo or palm fronds). We are able to hear the soft rustling of the wind as it invades our personal space and scent of the outdoors that most city slickers can’t otherwise appreciate. The Sukkah enables us to appreciate that which we may not normally be interested in appreciating.
 
Yussi’s bar mitzvah was a similar experience. In as much as his development may be challenged it served to also challenge the development of those attending the Simcha. We re-examined our life’s goals, challenges, and expectations. Many people (who we relate to as typical) are often depressed, jealous, and unhappy. The bar mitzvah boy radiated joy and his smile permeated the room and was infectious. People danced because they were empathetically happy; Yussi’s joy was their joy.
 
Often, life’s challenges are both difficult, and yet rewarding. Initially it’s often hard to appreciate God’s choreography and design choices. Many even shed a tear or two, unable to fathom how their unique challenge can be construed as a blessing. But Hashem’s creativity is like that of a master's stroke of the brush; we don’t always understand the brilliance of the technique but we know it’s perfect. We don’t get to choose how God blesses us, we just say thank you and hopefully grow to understand and appreciate our unique blessings. 
 
I think Eric Segal got it wrong when he wrote: Love is never having to say you are sorry. I believe that loving someone unconditionally is never having anything to be sorry about. True love is seeing the beauty in God’s mysterious and whimsical way He fashioned your particular life story. True love is embracing your life in the metaphorical sukkah, when you leave the comforts that everyone else believes is perfection. True love is when you comprehend that challenging equals rewarding. But the truest of love is when we remember the first words in Yussi’s bar mitzvah parsha “v’zot habracha” - “and this is the blessing which we were blessed with. Indeed the greatest blessing you have is the one you are blessed with.
 
Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach,
 
Rabbi Jack Engel