B"H
The Danger of Intelligence - Why Some Orthodox Youth Leave Orthodoxy
While this subject matter is so broad that a discussion could fill volumes, my focus will be narrow and focus on just one angle. I grew up in a world that strongly believed in the truism of the maxim “oib mir fregt, es is treif” - if you ask a question, it is not kosher. Children were meant to be seen and not heard. And I mean that literally, children were not meant to share their concerns or questions. Children were entitled to speculate about all matters of life, but only within the realm of fantasy. Children knew their boundaries and most wouldn’t dare express contrarian views.
Of course children weren’t all angelic, they only had to appear that way. Those who stepped out of line were labeled troublemakers, a character flaw that left an indelible scar for many years. It was akin to the “permanent record card” that schools allegedly kept to ensure subservience. I even remember my mother forbidding me to interact with a select group of “troubled” boys. Sadly, the “trouble” label was given to those who were intellectually stimulated and questioned areas that adults didn’t have the ability to answer.
I had hoped modernity would alter the landscape and allow freedom of expression. But recently I was shocked to hear a story about a young teenager who was asked not to return to his Yeshiva for the next semester. He violated a fundamental principle of the school; he dared to question, he dared to have an opinion that challenged the status quo. He postulated that since God and truth are inseparable, the yeshiva’s philosophy must place honesty and integrity as fundamental to its core ethos. He assumed questions would be tolerated and encouraged. Sadly, he learned an invaluable life altering lesson with the grave potential of leading him astray.
Although the school posits that integrity and honesty are characteristics of Hashem they were far more concerned with protecting its image by ensuring their cookie cutter environment wasn’t tarnished. Individuals created by the Almighty with the gift of reason, perception and integrity were unfortunately deemed too provocative and dangerous. These intelligent youth are subtly being reminded that their questions are inconsistent with Orthodox Judaism and often their only option is to look elsewhere.
Of course this phenomenon is not limited to Yeshivot or Jewish Day Schools. Many Catholic and Muslim schools promote a similar philosophy and subject their student body to their rigid interpretation of truth. I have heard many former Catholics state that attending Catholic school was the main reason they no longer believe in God. Moreover, many public and secular schools follow a similar path and guide their students on how to think and what views are politically and socially acceptable. Demanding conformity has become an acceptable form of adult bullying. As a result, those who are blessed with active minds and intelligence are being subjugated by the political whims and philosophical mindset of those in control. (Pink Floyd may have been on to something.) Even schools of higher learning are often replacing education with indoctrination.
I’m reminded of a story about an ideal found in this week's Torah portion, Naso. One of the mitzvot is the concept of attaining holiness through the medium of “nezirut” - vowing to be a nazarite. This is a concept rarely practiced today, but nevertheless a religious ideal that should be valued by Torah Judaism. Alas, that is not the case. A young man living in Israel decided to bind himself for life by vowing to be a nazir. He now lives his life according to the biblical obligation and refrains from drinking any wine or becoming ritually impure and by never cutting his hair. (Don’t shoot the messenger; it’s God’s law, not mine).
Well, he is a unique individual and was invited by a yeshiva in New Jersey to address its student body. He is deeply committed to yiddishkeit and has an inspiring story to share. However, a few weeks before the event the administration canceled the event. They decided to withdraw the invitation as the young man had long hair which was a violation of the school's dress code. They had an opportunity to show their students that Judaism was alive and the Torah being taught is a living and breathing text, yet their concern was more about the potential threat to their rules of conformity. Choosing to be outside the parameters of their ideal box wasn’t a pedagogical lesson they wanted to impart on their students.
Often I ask myself who or what is God? Of course I realize that all I can do is speculate, but ultimately I will never be able to fathom the deepest mystery of the universe. But is that a justification to refrain from ever asking the question? I believe it’s mandatory to question. By questioning I don’t challenge religion, I only challenge myself. I certainly don’t know who or what God is, but I do know that God is lauded and praised for being uniquely individual and no one can compare themselves to him. I believe that each person is tasked to emulate God by being uniquely themselves. I realize that being unable to fathom is not a criticism, it’s a reality. In the yigdal prayer we acknowledge that we can never fathom Hashem. Yet, Maimonides demands we persist in our endeavors to glean a greater insight and perspective of the divine. These contradictory ideals are not mutually exclusive, they are the foundation of our faith.
Should the yeshiva promote a course that challenges its students to comprehend the divine? Doing so could open the floodgates towards heresy. If the questions can’t be answered, is it an exercise in futility? I think the opposite is true. Students often have thoughts that are bottled up inside, yet are fearful to openly share them. Shouldn’t yeshivot have an obligation to cater to those who think outside the box? Is it justified to protect the masses by sacrificing the individual? Perhaps it is those who lack individuality who are being stunted in their growth?
The Torah portion this week opens with words: naso et rosh bnei Yisrael - count the heads of the children of Israel. Rashi comments that the reason for the counting is to portray Hashem’s love for his children. In other words each person is unique and has to be individually counted. Interestingly, Hashem tasks us to count heads; to ensure that what is ultimately important is each person's mind and intellectual uniqueness.
In a few days we will celebrate the festival of Shavuot and commemorate God’s revelation at Mount Sinai. Judaism is predicated on the belief that we all stood by the mountain and heard the Ten Commandments from Hashem. But that is where the commonality ends. We all heard the same words but we all comprehended those words differently. By questioning one us not deviating from the standard norms. On the contrary, questioning should be the standard norm.
The Midrash teaches (Shemot Rabba 29:1) that part of the mystery of the revelation was that God articulated his words - “bekocho shel kol ehad ve-ehad,” each person had the Torah specifically targeted to their comprehension. It is the same Torah but its brilliance is that it can be directed and personalized to the individual. The essence of Shavuot is to emulate Hashem's interaction with the Jewish people and to remember that he welcomed individuality.
Maybe the next time a youngster asks a question the answer will not be es is treif. And in the future, perhaps instead of ostracizing the inquisitive child, we compliment their thinking and embrace them with love. Well, now that I’m a grandparent it’s so much easier to be rational.
Shabbat shalom and chag sameach,
Rabbi Jack Engel
